Destination weddings have the power to introduce places, sensations and experiences your guests have never before encountered—and can result in a trip nobody will forget. Although beautiful, unique, and fun— destination weddings can be much trickier than local ones. They require a special touch. I plan many, and I want to share my advice and tips on how to make a destination wedding as enjoyable as it should be.

1. Give yourself more time. We are used to the busy pace of the New York, New Jersey metropolitan area. People who live elsewhere—simply aren’t. Especially if you’re considering an island wedding, most islands I’ve worked with operate at “island pace,” and it’s a lot slower than we’re used to. Whenever you’re dealing with a destination, there’s always a time barrier, and there can be a communication one too—whether it’s a language barrier, or something just getting lost in translation over the phone or email. Communication needs to be extra precise, triple-checked, and reiterated constantly to make sure everyone is on the same page. Vendors and venues at destinations want to please you and make your day perfect too—but it can a little longer to get the ducks in a row. Emails can take two weeks to respond to, and you need to allow for this extra time so you can go at their pace, and ultimately get the relaxed wedding you crave.
2. Have one point of contact. To avoid any confusion, and keep all the plans flowing smoothly, it’s imperative to have one person as the liaison. If one person is handling the venue, while another is handling the travel arrangements, and yet another is handling the ceremony, there is room for things to fall through the cracks. With one person in control, the event can come together cleanly.
3. It’s about the travel too. Remember that the travel creates a lot of anxiety for some people. In order for it to be a beautiful wedding that your guests will fully experience and enjoy, the travel is part of the experience. It starts for them from the minute they get on the plane. Anything that can be done from that point on—to ensure them an enjoyable experience—should be done.
4. Where’s Aunt Martha? You don’t want to suddenly realize that Aunt Martha is missing as you sit down to dinner, only to discover her flight got delayed for 6 hours. The details are essential, and managing them before they become an issue is important. Have someone in charge of travel, who knows arrangements, arrival times and special needs. Have an English speaking liaison meet guests at the airport, make sure they have their luggage, deliver them to the hotel and check them off the list. Otherwise, people can fall through the cracks. Plus, your guests can have immediate needs upon landing (diapers, water, headache tablets) and with somebody there to handle that (think emergency kit!) will make their arrival smooth.
5. My room has no hairdryer. At the hotel, have someone making sure your guests’ rooms are perfect, and if there’s a problem, provide that point of contract so they’re not trying to speak to hotel about it. Something as insignificant as a missing hairdryer can turn into an emotional situation if there’s nobody there to handle it promptly. The last thing you want is a guest coming up to the bride, groom, or mother-of-the-bride complaining about not having a hairdryer! With a point of contact, your guests will feel like they have a personal butler, with somebody taking care of them and their unique needs. The entire trip will be more luxurious, it will quell worries, and they will be emotionally available to partake in the whole experience.

Remember, a destination wedding is a vacation—as well as a wedding. That’s why you do a destination wedding, right? To remove people from the daily pace, and spend time with guests, really relax, enjoy clam bakes, balmy beach soirees, relaxed rehearsals, ceremonies and vibrant receptions. The whole point of having several days is to have a full experience, and with the proper planning and implementation, you will, and your guests will too.

If you need help planning your destination wedding, I’m here to help.

Until next time…

Weddings are an exciting time—but they can also be a time of highly-charged emotions, family drama, and clashing personalities.

Almost as important as the planning—is keeping the peace, not only with vendors (link) but with demanding mother-in-laws, bratty bridesmaids, show-stealing sisters and boozy brother-in-laws. Emotions seem to escalate around a wedding. Drinking fuels the fire, and people get stressed and anxious. I work to eliminate the stresses so their sparks don’t ignite a powder keg –and so all of this heightened emotion doesn’t affect the bride and groom.

My job is to be the buffer, the problem-solver, and the peace keeper—ensuring the bride and groom have the day they’ve dreamed of, instead of a dealing with drama.

I’ve seen it all—from mothers-in-law who’ve insisted on wearing white dresses, to uncles who need to have their drinking monitored, to cousins who’ve thrown tantrums about not being included enough.

Every situation has a peaceful solution—and a dramatic one. I aim for peace. Here’s an example:

Situation: Recently, an Aunt got upset about where she was seated. She wanted to be switched, and was ready to confront the bride and groom (who had intentionally seated her there).

Solution: I stepped in and smoothed the situation over by saying, “I’m so sorry, it looks like we had a seating issue. Please know the bride and groom would have never done this to insult you. I hope you accept my apology.” She said it was okay, and proceeded to enjoy herself. Sometimes people just want to be heard—and many times, I can be that ear.

I value my role as peacekeeper, advice giver, and drama-stopper, because sometimes the bride and groom need more than just a planner, they need someone to keep the harmony among all the personalities involved.

In my career, I’ve found that negative emotions are best managed with love, concern, and attention. I have no problem apologizing, and “taking the hit” to keep things harmonious. Sometimes, I even play the role of “bouncer” for the bride and groom.

If you need a wedding planner/peace keeper for your upcoming nuptials, please get in touch.

Until next time…

My brides often ask me how I got into wedding planning. Here’s my story:

I was an actress for a long time. I graduated from Carnegie Mellon and worked non-stop from minute I got to New York. It was a crazy, fast-paced lifestyle and I loved it. I was on Broadway, and I traveled a lot with national tours and regional theatre.

When I met my husband, I’d been in show business for 20 years. I started to crave something different. Something bigger than just me. I wanted a real solid home—and a family.

We got engaged, and hired a wedding planner to arrange our wedding.

Then I fired her.

Why? Because with 6 weeks until the big day—nothing was done. Not even a florist had been secured. How could this planner be so unprepared? How could I have let this happen?

My mom and I did everything in a weekend. It was like a recon mission, and we tackled it. We planned a nearly perfect wedding, with only 6 weeks left.

The day was beautiful—but there were certain instances where I wish we had someone guiding us. I wish we made a little speech, but we didn’t have anybody reminding us. And what about the presents? We hadn’t planned a way to bring them home.

That’s where a planner would have been helpful.

And this is when I got the wedding bug.

I started spending time at the Wedding Library, learning everything I could about weddings, reading books, and looking at portfolios for photographers, florists, caterers, invitation makers, and musicians.

Soon, they hired me as a wedding planner. It was intense, and the experience I gained was incredible.

A few years later, I moved to New Jersey with my husband and worked at Vera Wang. During that time, I got to know New Jersey, tracked down the best vendors, made relationships at the most sophisticated venues—and decided to go for it. I started my own wedding planning business, An Affair to Remember.

I’ve been a wedding planner for 10 years, and I love it immensely. Weddings are like really good Broadway productions, only the actors are real people, the emotion is real, and so is the joy.

When I fired my wedding planner, it was devastating. But it gave me the motivation and direction to find my calling. To the wedding planner who I fired all those years ago … I couldn’t be more grateful.

Until next time…

Have you ever seen a Broadway show? If you have, you know that a beautiful performance requires the talents of many different individuals. The dancers, actors, musicians, stage crew, directors and choreographers are all artists with individual jobs and talents—but all of them need to contribute their one part to make a great whole.

Weddings are the same. You hire all of these great artists who have separate talents. When there are florists, photographers, musicians, videographers, linen companies, makeup artists, venue managers, caterers and bakers (just to name a few) — they need to be supported—so they can contribute their best part for your wedding as a whole.

They have been hired because of their talents, and I believe my job is to create the most ideal atmosphere for them to demonstrate these talents.

I do this by creating calm, giving respect, and helping them manage the logistics of the day so that they can give my bride their very best. How? By making sure they are happy and respected, and not treated like the hired help. Then they can be artists and not just workers. Extra paragraph

As a wedding planner, I’ve found that the ability to facilitate peace and harmony is just as important as organization, professionalism and attention to detail. I do this by creating calm, giving respect, and helping them manage the logistics of the day so that they can give my bride their very best. How? By making sure they are happy and respected, and not treated like the hired help. Then they can be artists and not just workers.

The wedding and the bride should be the star of the show. And it/she should be supported by the talents of the vendors. I make that happen. Some planners desire to be the star and create drama. I don’t. I will never make your wedding about me. I make it about the wedding as a whole, and about welcoming each part in the puzzle to create a beautiful production.

Today’s tip: For vendors to make harmonious music (instead of chaos), they need someone to help them do their jobs, and be the artists they are. Whether it’s me, or someone else, make sure there’s a good fit, and that your person treats vendors the way you’d like them to be treated.

Until next time…

It might sound silly, but I believe that planning weddings is a calling. I didn’t exactly wake up one day and hear a voice, Eileen, you should plan weddings, but I did feel it, intensely. I just knew it was a place where I could fit my skills and make a difference in a couple’s life. What is more amazing than two people uniting together in marriage and starting a life together? As many weddings as I’ve planned, I still realize and cherish the significance of these moments, and feel lucky to be involved in helping them happen … smoothly … beautifully … and seamlessly.

Through my job, I have the ability to help remove a bride’s stress so that she can be fully present for her marriage—the truly special promise—where she and her husband-to-be stand up in front of friends and family to make an extraordinary legal, and soulful commitment. This moment should be at the forefront. This is why I plan weddings … So the bride can be fully immersed in this amazing moment—instead of worrying about logistics, wondering if the photographer knows which angle you want him to be shooting from, or diffusing the argument between Aunt Jean and cousin Patty.

This is why I plan weddings.

This is also why I’m starting this blog.

I want to share my experience, tips, and insight, and give brides a view into who I am as a person, and how I work. Choosing someone to plan your wedding is a very personal decision, and I think it should be based on capability and experience, as well as approach.

I’d like to put myself into this blog, so that when you read, it helps you get to know me. For me, weddings aren’t just a business, they are tremendously meaningful. I truly consider it a privilege to help my brides really experience their magnificent matrimony, and enable them to enter into marriage without worrying about the details of the wedding day.

I look forward to sharing with you through this blog. If there are any topics you would like me to cover, please let me know.

Until next time…